LIVING

Hedonism

Anonymous
Obese Model, 1870 (ink hearts added by my friend, Marilyn Moore)
The Texbraun Collection, Paris
The l’Elysee Museum, Lausanne, Switzerland


Yes, I’ve been gone and I didn’t even bother to take my freakin’ computer with me…hince the lack of posts in the last two weeks. I swear I have a good excuse, though. I’ve been in New York the last five days and it wasn’t a trip dedicated to hitting up all the amazing museums and art galleries (boo-hoo! half of me really really wanted to) it was a trip dedicated to pure, unadulterated hedonism. I swear to god my gallbladder is launching a full scale rebellion. Here is a list of all the places we were so fortunate to try:

Balthazar (French Bistro)
Il Gato Pardo (Italian, Perfected)
Per Se (Red Carpet Chic)
Gotham Bar & Grill (My Personal Favorite)
Nobu (Overrrated, at least from my perspective)


Leo standing on the John Lennon Memorial in Strawberry Fields, Central Park

I suppose the most important feature to mention is that there are gluten free options at all of these fabulous restaurants, one just has to know what to look for.

At Per Se, however, we called ahead to notify them of my gluten allergy and they went out of their way to ready themselves for me. Per Se is Thomas Keller’s New York version of The French Laundry (which is located in Nappa Valley) and operates under a Price Fix menu only. Therefore, if any of the courses contained gluten, they altered it slightly or served me something completely different. And since we had over sixteen courses, I was flabbergasted that of the sixteen courses, they altered 10 of them. That’s enough to make any woman blush and I was definately blushing during this meal.


From left to right: Flaxseed and Seeded Buckwheat Gluten Free Muffins at Per Se

The moment that totally caught me off guard was when the maitre’d approached the table with a careful arrangement of what appeared to be petit babas and turned out to be gluten free muffins that the pastry chef made just for me! (More blushing, fingers to the lips, the whole bit.) One was a flaxseed muffin and the other was a seeded buckwheat. I was shocked to discover that the flaxseed muffin was hopelessly dry. No amount of butter could of saved the poor thing, but the seeded buckwheat muffin was a total delight. I smeared it with salted butter and the lightness of this creation just sent me to the moon. And I have to admit that I felt a tremendous sense of pride knowing that even the very best of the absolute very best pastry chefs still struggle with gluten free baking. Maybe that’s why I ate four of the little guys; with each bite, I couldn’t help but wonder if the pastry chef was cursing himself back in that big, immaculately clean kitchen or if he was cursing me. I hoped that my salvation would be found at the bottom of my empty plate, and for some reason, it simply wasn’t.

That was probably due to the fact that in my drunken state I did the most gauche thing I could ever do: I gave the maitre’d one of my business cards and told him to check out my web site. How fucking gauche is that? All the chefs at Per Se are probably rolling in thier chef shirts out of embarrassment for me.

“Poor little celiac bitch…what the fuck does she know?”

Oh, my ears and my cheeks are burning with embarrassment.
Even though nearly every job I’ve ever had was in a restaurant, maybe the chefs at Per Se have spic and span mouths, but somehow, I doubt it. All chefs curse like sailors, including my husband.

In terms of service, presentation, setting, inventiveness etc., Per Se was the most impressive. My only criticism is that there was too many courses. I know every single chef back in that kitchen had been back there slaving for hours to present their genius to us, but my stomach literally couldn’t keep up. I had to fast the next day until about 2:30 as the mere thought of food made my entrials contort in a most objectional manner. Hands down, though, Per Se was the most impressive restaurant I’ve ever had the pleasure of attending. Per Se = Pure Genius.

Sadly, the dessert at Per Se was a blurrrrrr. I just remember receiving handfulls of caramels to stuff into my purse.

Gotham Bar and Grill was my favorite because it was much more laid back and the portion sizes were just right. I had the lobster which made me purr like a kitten. Poached in clarified butter, oh, I get goose bumps just thinking about it. I finished the evening with the famous Gotham Chocolate Cake (Flourless) which was a subtly sublime closure to yet another rich meal.

Nobu was a bit of a disappointment, simply because nearly everything had soy sauce in it. I did have a wonderful yellowfin tuna sashimi marinated with miso (gluten free) and jalapenos. Other than that, I just didn’t really love it.


My Steak Frites with Buerre de Maison at Balthazar

Balthazar is also very close to my heart. Every time we’re in New York we make a point to make reservations here. The food is unfussy, delicious and the atmosphere bespeaks an entirely different era. Caryatids hold the mantle above the bar while the antique sconces cast the golden glow of happiness all around. The wood is well loved and the staircase down to the bathroom sags with the pleasure of holding up so many fulfilled patrons. Lillie and I had the steak frites, Clayton had the seafood tower and Tim had a sandwich. Happiness and joy were abounding.



Clayton’s Seafood Tower at Blathazar

And we were seated next to a table of very dynamic New Yorkers that we stuck up a conversation with and are now in contact with: Gia, girl, you are fabulous!

And for some reason we always have celebrity sightings there. Last time, we saw a very pregnanat Michelle Williams, Heath Leger and Meg Ryan! This time we only saw Derric Jeter. Clayton spotted the meathead in a back booth and all I could think of was how much of a New Jersey meat head he looked like. Yucky-yuck.


The Chocolate Peanut Butter Brownie at Puff & Pao

Sadly, I didn’t make it to Babycakes which is my only regret of the entire trip, but Lillie and I did Stumble upon this funky little place called Puff & Pao (105 Chistopher Street, between Bleeker and Hudson, 212.633.7833) and they had a case full of gluten free treats. I went after the chocolate peanut butter brownie which was a touch on the dry side but not bad. They also had another case full of cheese puffs, but I didn’t try any of them, so I can’t report on them, but the way I look at it, the more gluten free places that we can find, the better.

So, there you have it. I’m a total hedonist and I have to say it’s an awful lot of fun.


Greenwich Village, New York, c. 1950
Photograph by Weegee
From the Wilma Wilcox Collection

April 9th, 2007 — 8:10 am

0 comments | add comment